Gift ideas for a dialysis patient ~

A hug, a smile goes a long way.

A card. A note. A call. A text. An email expressing you're thinking of them.

A warm meal (see renal diet). Cooking is always a key to the heart.

If crafty, a hand-made (sew, crochet, knit, loom, etc.) item such as:  a warm blanket. A warm scarf or cowl (neck warmer). Warm socks. Warm ear muffs. Warm gloves. It gets cold in most dialysis units. Comfort is essential during those three hours (or longer) treatments.

Notebook. Pen. *I know I like to write during my treatments. My dialysis bag is full of tools for artistic expression.

Large sturdy travel-type bag. *I take two large bags. One bag, I have my bedding - twin size sheet, a warm twin sized quilt, a small arm pillow (used under needled arm for extra support), a U-shaped pillow (I use mine in front, under my chin opposed to the usual behind the neck). And the other bag, I carry my composition books - one I use to record information about my treatment for the day, such as: arrival time, attending technician, dry weight, labs done, my mood, health issues, blood pressure plus questions for my nephrologist (who comes to the unit once a week).

A long back scratcher. *When confined to one spot for three or more hours one can itch in even the weirdest places. Hard to get to places to. Though my husband is nearby, his nails are not always enough to satisfy or reach the itch.

A wide fan. *Yes, it gets cold. But a few times, it has gotten pretty warm. And I've come close to removing clothing in an attempt to cool off. Thankfully I had my handy fan. Everything necessary is in my bag :)

Tasty lasting snack. *My treatments start at 4:30 am - for three hours. By 7 am, I get hungry. So I keep either a half sandwich. Or crackers. Or a piece of fruit. And hard candies. Most of the time, I have a small water in my bag too.

Thermo cooler. Keep those snacks they may want to stay cold. *I carry those small bag-shaped thermos so that they can fit in my dialysis bag.

Reading material. A nice book mark. Find out renal patients literary interest. *I'm an avid reader. So I keep a book I own, included with due library books to complete in my dialysis bag.

Lotion, chap stitch *Yes, I keep all this in my bag too. Lips and skin gets or feels dry which can add to discomfort.

A mirror. *I keep a small mirror in my bag. No, I haven't used it, yet. But one is there just in case.

Gum, mints, etc. *I one or all of these things in my bag. I'm very paranoid about the freshness of my breath. Though I brush/floss, mouthwash regularly, still. Since this condition, it's harder maintaining a fresh smelling or feeling mouth.

Games - such as, playing cards, chess board, etc. *Sometimes my husband and I play chess (he's teaching me because I want to surprise my chess playing kids).

Ear Phones (and music device), *Of course, these are in my bag, plus something (I forget the name) I use to watch educational videos on. It also can be used to listen to CD's.

Eye mask or shades. *It is very bright inside the units. Sometimes they'll allow patient to wear eye mask or shades.

Calendar - since everyone have the time or energy to figure out how to use their cell phone (if they own one) as a calendar. So a traditional paper calendar can be useful to keep medical appointments. Keep track of medications, list physicians and so on.

Well, that's all I can thing of right now. But I think I've blogged about "What's in my dialysis bag" previously. Take some ideas from what's in my bag to possible purchase or hand-create for someone you may want to do something special. Let me know if this was useful or if you have any questions or suggestions about adding somethings to this list.

Had a wonderful day of thanks with family and friends. I certainly have much for which to be thankful, thankfully.

Looking forward to resuming swim routine. I was hospitalized a couple of weeks ago for a fistula infection. Forgot the exact name of infection, but it turns out, my frequent swimming didn't help. Though the antibiotics prescribed did help clear up infection, the wound has yet to completely heal. In the meantime, I take walks. Plan to return to the gym to exercise soon. I swim still, but only in my head. Since I just learned to swim this summer, I want to keep up with improvements. Only in my head, I practice my strokes, my breathing...until.

Had a fistalogram (Google) last week. A minor surgery. It went well. Need another fistula surgery soon. But the wound has to heal first. Hopefully surgeon can eliminate some of the grotesque appearance of my arm due to the fistula. If not, do whatever is necessary.

Through it all, I feel optimistic. Like a quote I've embraced from a cherished Bruce Lee book I own, "adapt like water". Well, I've become the water. Going with the flow.

How cool is this? being able to watch, "Seinfeld" (fluffy shirt episode) at 4:30 am on a Saturday during my three hour dialysis treatment.  Covered in a hand quilted, twin-sized blanket my husband and I purchased weeks ago at a neighborhood flea market.

November 8th, I was in a hospital bed - on an antibiotics IV, recovering from a minor dialysis fistula infection. Days before, I was in a packed ER room, frantically filling out my mail-in ballot to cast my procrastinated vote for the candidate I least feared to lead this country.

Home now. I awoke this morning feeling panicky. Worried. After all, myself and many of the quality people with whom I associate, many friends; people whom I love and respect fit the diverse profiles those publicly ranted; plethora of irresponsible, vicious, negative "tweets" were against.

Who will lead people like me, like us... minus any toxic hate or vengeance or ignorance? I'm concerned. But I'm sure, with time and thought, I'll quickly recover. The Behaviors won't affect my life, our lives.. will they? Are those who are okay with the behaviors, those who celebrate, do they too secretly harbor these type of feelings for those who are different?

Being an "anti-bullying" type of parent who teaches and models quality behavior - kindness, tolerance, respect, fairness, decency, honesty, integrity, reason, logic, thoughtfulness,  mindfulness, forgiveness; hard work (you will not start your lives at 3rd base then go on acting like you hit a home run, thus treating others as if they are inferior and so on), get your facts first, knowledge, intellectual curiosity and so on. How do I continue to parent teaching that all these traits of quality character are the keys to success in this world?

Mind you, my escalating medical expenses have been causing extreme stress. I've worked most of my life. But, I'm not on disability or any other type of assistance. My husband, a tax accountant is our sole income. The debt from the rising cost of frequent co-pays, prescriptions, etc. had me really questioning my vote. Here I was, in fistula pain for days afraid of the copay of the ER visit. My fears of medical cost is one of the causes of my current predicament with renal disease. Afraid to get medical care because of the cost. I don't want to possibly leave my already struggling family in debt!

I was reluctant to blog about this subject as I'm a believer in keeping my religious/political beliefs private. After all, for example. When you cast your political vote, it's in a securely enclosed space. No one can see. And respectfully, no one asks.

My religious thoughts are the same, enclosed and private. And I'm not expressing either here, really. Just my fears of the known (past behaviors), and the unknown (would the past behaviors continue or worsen)? I'm stuck in a constant sickness to my stomach wondering/worrying...

Politics and Religion can be unpleasantly divisive. It can reveal "conditional" feelings quickly. If someone expressed deep love and kindness and support and civility toward you at one point, then later even suspect you may not believe exactly as they do, they immediately change. Instantly become less loving. Less kind. Less supportive. And less civil. It's rather unfortunate.

This possibility is truly scary and hurtful. It can sting whenever it happens to the best of us. But I noticed that even though I've avoided these subjects in my personal life, believers can hear my glaring silence when these subjects sneak up and most of the time, they judge.

But you live and you learn.  Nevertheless, you remain true to who you are. Those who are genuine will find you and you won't have to be concerned if their treatment of you is conditional or unconditional. Their goodness, their generosity, their gracefulness will be sincere & long-lasting.

A great wise woman once said, I think it was Maya Angelou, "when people show you who they are, believe them".

I know I'm not alone in my feelings or my predicament. I bravely hit, "Publish" . Then, "share" buttons.

I'm privileged to know a few renal patients outside of the dialysis facility. Our course, there is one, my half sister (on my father's side). She's close to my age. I'm close to 50 and she's a bit older. And then there are three others - who are probably in their 40's.

All of which are active and doing well. All had transplants. My sister's mother gave her a kidney. One is going back on dialysis soon, but doing well. They are also open and honest about their journey through renal failure. I consider them and the new people that I meet an inspiration. I look at/to them, and see they are surviving and living with this thing. And every time I may reach a low period (which is temporary), I think of them.

Weather has been lovely, but it has been HOT. I've remained quite active physically . As a result,  extreme thirst has been my current dilemma. Due to the fluid restrictions for renal patients each day (fluids from drinks, vegetables, fruits, ice, etc. are a factor), unfortunately I've been arriving at dialysis a bit over my dry weight. And with this, more liquid has to be pulled from the dialysis machine which poses many extra risk. One in which I was recently challenged by. Severe cramping.

Imagine if you will, experiencing the worse muscle cramps you've ever had and being limited in movement while attached to blood pressure coughs and huge needles for three hours.

No, my muscle cramps didn't last for three hours, but at the time, it felt like an unbearable eternity. Husband was napping in the car at the time. With the TV remote, I buzzed the nurse. Thankfully the dialysis staff immediately took really good care of me.

When those cramps come, all composure leaves. I become a different person. Instantly, I'm no longer a compliant, composed patient. Pleading for help, even though help is present. Whatever is on me, blankets, pillows... ends up on the floor. Eventually I'm up standing.

It is advisable to remain seated due to the two huge needles in your arm. And the attached blood pressure cuff on the other arm. If blood pressure is too low, which it usually is. Could faint.

What they do is, return some of the fluids through the attached tubing. The staff this day (remember I have a different crew since my treatment days changed) stayed with me. Held my leg in a position which relieved the discomfort. I begged her not to let go, and she didn't. She then gathered all my items that I had tossed on the floor. Placed them neatly on a nearby chair. Gratitude was expressed repeatedly for her competent & compassionate assistance.

Those cramps... I'm thinking at the time, "I'll never consume too many liquids again". And here I am. On another warm day, possibly over-consuming again  - ice, water, fruit. Sigh! I'm so thirsty.

My son, the eldest is 20 years old today. He's still considered my best(est) birthday present ever and always, born just an hour before my birthday.

Not far, but an hour or so away at a very academically challenging college. Though he's same state, we don't see him as much as we'd like. And rarely does he respond to my frequent calls or text. Sigh! I miss him so. But understand that his dad and I lovingly prepared him for the this phase of his life.

Now that he's deeper into his adulthood, I fear he's farther away from baby{dom}. All I want to do is hold him still.  Adapting, I can no longer do/say the same things by him, he'll check me immediately. "Mom, I'm a man now". I'm still adjusting to what that means.

We are still very close, thankfully. Our relationship is just different now. Really, I remember the changes soon after my initial hospitalization. My kids really grew up fast when that happened (2014). I'm still catching up.

Well, we are going to drive up and see him over the weekend. I'm so excited. This extra joy is welcomed considering the last few weeks I've had with dialysis and my fistula (Google).

Every time we see or talk to our son, changes are evident. It's so weird. Truth is, when you see your kid everyday, you may not immediately recognize their physical or mental growth. But when there is time in the equation, it can be like seeing a totally new person/personality each time you see them.

I've embraced every moment. Just being here, alive and privileged another day. Have an opportunity to experience my husband and kids and friends and even strangers is awesome. I'll never forget what its like to come so close to death and to be forced into long-term stillness. Be vulnerable to where everyone can see. Thoughts became of how cautiously-fearless I'd live my life once I regained my abilities -- to talk, walk, write, eat, comprehend, etc.

So this and other days, especially birthdays are extra special for me. Usually holidays, and birthdays are like another day to us. But for me, everyday is one to be celebrated.