Help! I'm addicted to cornstarch.

Since my initial hospitalization back in 2014, I've been consuming what started out as -- hospital baby powder (would put it on my body then later sprinkle some in my hand and eat it), now to cornstarch.

The cornstarch started when one of my dear in-home therapist were helping me find something edible to eat in place of the baby powder. Tried a few things... I then tried the cornstarch and liked it. Been eating it ever since.

Turns out, I was anemic back then. But as of now, I'm not, I don't think. Yet, I still crave the cornstarch. And most of the time, it's in place of actual food.

I recently discovered that cornstarch is high in phosphorous. Unfortunately my phosphorous levels have been dangerously high for months now. Every month, my blood is drawn to check levels on various things needed for a dialysis patient.

When the results are hand delivered, I'm quietly nervous. If I'm awake when dietitian is hand delivering patients results, my body feels some kinda way. It's like when you're a kid getting your grade on that difficult math exam. Only now, it's more life threatening.

Though this newest finding has been brought to my attention, admittedly. I haven't discontinued my cornstarch consumption. Days ago I started trying to eat Pixie Stix - which are a powdery, sugary type of candy treat. But... this too hasn't quenched my desire for cornstarch.

One thing I did notice days ago was. I tend to crave the cornstarch when I'm feeling anxious. And lately I've been misfortune[d] unpleasant but necessary dealings with my vicious aging mother (who is not my favorite person due to her continued abuse (yes, an adult still can feel negative effects of the constant abuse from an abusive parent).

Everyone in her chosen environment is seeing that she needs help desperately. But sadly, she is refusing any help. Especially from me (a trustworthy child). Totally being stubbornly unreasonable and insanely illogical. I'm her only child. So therefore ALL the expectations fall on me (even though I can barely take care of myself). Sigh. This saga is constantly on my mind. And I can feel my body and mind slowly declining because of it. And I resist because she is not worth me losing myself over.

Anyway, I won't bore you with this depressing drama. However, I need to figure out something. Fast. I've been obediently staying clear of cheeses (which is one of my usual craved forbidden foods) due to the elevated phosphorous. And now, I have one more thing to battle - which I'm very reluctant to give up. I know I must. Soon. Somehow. Someway...

... rid myself of the cornstarch completely.

Anyone else have an unhealthy addiction? Is it cornstarch by any chance? if so, how do you limit the constant cravings?