Recently participated in my first aqua aerobics class. Being a former aerobics instructor (in my late teens to late twenties), seeing people exercise while in water was tempting. I finally joined in and I had a blast - shaking my booty under water. I was doing all sorts of silly things in that water. Totally self-entertained knowing no one can see my body jiggling all over the place, the water camouflaging my every move. At least it seems that way. One can never know...

Yeah, I've been getting in the pool at least three days per week for months. I bike for 30 minutes - being able to watch TV or use my phone at the same time is amazing. Stretch, then I go around the circuit once or twice - depending on if I'm pressed for time or too fatigued. Do abs on the cushioned blue mats for about 15 minutes. Shower, then happily get into the pool - "pretend" swimming.

I'm able to go under water and maneuver myself from one point to the other. I feel I'm benefiting from just being in the water and moving. I'm sure a "real" swimmer can see I don't know what I'm doing, but this will be until I can afford adult swimming lessons. I've been told from the stern, but helpful lifeguard who taught my son how to swim (frustrated after paying for lessons and he stay at the same level for months, I had him get in and swim laps without instruction) that I need to blow bubbles while under water. "WHAT? Blow at the same time?! Too hard for me. And I'm sure it was too hard for my son. *I've since apologized to him for my lack of understanding.

I met this older woman blowing bubbles in the water while holding on to the edge of the pool. Of course we starting chatting and it turns out, she's almost 70! and enrolled in the adult swimming lessons. That totally inspired me to hurry to those lessons soon.

Once I pry myself from the enjoyment of the pool (I've come to love the water), I get in the Jacuzzi, then the steam, sauna and finally, shower again.

See, being able to be in water is a privilege now more so than ever. Before I had my fistula (research dialysis fistula) and I had the temporary catheter in my chest (research dialysis catheter), I couldn't even shower. Had to bathe, carefully. All because the catheter couldn't get wet. And I had the catheter for a little over one year, I think.

So some day being able to drink all the water I want (once I get my kidney transplant), but in the meantime, appreciate being able to be in water is a complete joy.

One thing I was thinking and feeling recently was, deep regret for not getting in the pool with my kids when they were babies. I now observe fun-looking "Mommy & Me" classes in the pool. Babies as young as six months giggling in the pool as their moms play with them in the water. Pure fun I allowed myself to miss out on. But, once I'm fortune grand-babies (a long time from now), I hope to be able explore the water with them. And be able to swim myself by then.

I'm sure every conscious parent have regrets at some point in their parenting. I know for sure, if I didn't have the privilege to experience the motherly intimacy and joy in nursing all three of my kids, I may have regretted not doing so later on. I'm just glad I was healthy enough and had the resources, the knowledge during and after my pregnancies.

Sometimes I regret not adding certain things to my Sage's Curriculum during my son's formative years. But then again, he started college at fourteen (because he was mentally & physically prepared) and is continuing to excel as a physics major.

Each child is different, so of course, parenting each one will be different. However I love them all the same, equally. I'm learning and evolving right alongside them. I'll stop here before I digress, get too far off with this blog.