My swimming adventures...

Have been utterly amazing. I mean, why have I avoided the pool all these years? especially when I was fit and fine.  I mean, the time I wasted with feelings of insecurity when I was physically at my peek in terms of fitness, health and beauty. Why wasn't I alert and aware, self-confident in this world -- living and exploring and creating and experiencing... why? why? why? I ask my old self.

Here I say, now is now. Then is then. What I have right now, is this moment. And if I could be doing in the midst of THIS very moment is... swimming.

Oh how I LOVE being in the pool. I feel so much freedom and all is okay with the world. Even in a public pool (which use to gross me out too much to even considering putting my toe in the water), in a spiritual way (for lack of a better description), it's like I'm one with the world. I'm connected.

Now, like I've written in a previous blog entry, I get in the water on Tuesday's and Thursday's. Due to dialysis treatments at 4:45 am every Monday, Wednesday, Friday. I can't get into the water due to the bandages on my fistula (which has to stay on for several hours [9 pm] least blood will be everywhere).  And due to the extra exhaustion I feel following treatments. Typically, I try to rest (and sleep) on dialysis days. Yeah, my active life keeps me out and about - on the go. I home school my twelve year old daughter and she's quite active physically & socially. I mean, if she actually was "home" schooled, we can just totally stay indoors and get all the rest imagined.

I guess you can say, she's life-schooled. Or world-schooled. Enough with semantics, and back to swimming. I go to the gym. My daughter and I bike (she reads during) and do the circuit (usually together). Typically she carries on with her youth activities independently and I get in the pool.

Now, I'm no swimmer by definition. As a former fitness instructor, I have maintained some knowledge of overall fitness and body mechanics.

I've read several books on swimming. And just like reading books on giving birth, when you are in the situation, all knowledge escapes into I don't know where.

But apparently someone has been observing and possibly maybe even admiring my efforts. Seems like, at least to me, I visually progress each time I'm in the water. Someone anonymously gifted me swim lessons. Honestly, I've never considered lessons for myself. My kids have had lessons though.

I'm naturally inquisitive. Ask lots of questions. Smart ones, I hope. Talking to people, or even strangers no longer frightens me. When I was a kid, I was painfully shy. But now, seems like I'm making up for it. I digress.

I observe skilled swimmers and try to emulate what they are doing. Also, life guards discreetly give me pointers here and there. I keep trying. I push. And each time, I get better and better.

Seems like I'm rambling. Which is something I tend to do when I get excited.

When learning about the breathing. It's the most confusing thing ever. But I'm finally getting the hang of it. You blow out under water. And during your active swim, you must kick your legs a certain way. Move your arms a certain way. But keep blowing. Turn your head. And rather than blow out like I use to, you breath in (in prep to blow out under water again). I don't know why I was blowing bubbles underwater, then coming up during attempts at breast stroke, still blowing - only to wonder why water was getting in my nose and mouth. Yuck!

Me, "What?!"
"Breath in when you turn your head?" and,
"blow out when you are under water".
Me, "ooh".

So, I'm approaching my final lesson for this session soon. I've met some really nice fellow non (want to be) swimmers. Who would have thought. There are others. {smile} -- which made the experience much more fun and exciting. When you are learning (or when I am) with others, you push yourself even more. You listen a little closer. You try a little bit harder.

I've managed to improve my breaststroke a bit. Couldn't do it at all last week. But improved today - which makes me feel fantastic. Soon I'll be zipping up and down the pool like those other more advanced swimmers. I want to swim for pleasure and conditioning. If little babies and other small kids can just dive in, dip and go under, shouldn't I be fearless enough to do the same?