Today I reflected on how grateful I was in my present self-confidence. I'll be 49 - October 15th. And it took a lifetime to be where I am now emotionally.

Not only is there power in knowledge. Power in love, kindness, compassion. There is limitless power in not caring what others think about you.

Now of course, I DO care about how I treat people. Quality character is everything to me. Though my intent is to do well by others, I remain very sensitive about how others treat me. Some may assume by how outwardly strong I look on the outside, truth is, I'm very fragile.

Reflecting today revealed to me, that I'm not as fragile as I use to be (before renal failure/stroke. Before losing a child. Before a host of other life catastrophes).

What I learned about myself, I don't care. I no longer have the disease to please (honestly I lost that poison when my child died in 2000).

But what I realized today, I am no longer concerned  if others will like/love me if they learn that I may not believe what they believe. Many assume, but no one really knows. And they probably never will. Am I ashamed? No. Do I feel it necessary to discuss my personal beliefs with others? No. Do I need to convert others to "my way of life/thinking"? No! Beliefs of mine are personal.

I am no longer concerned if others will like/love me if they learn that I may not parent or educate "my kids" the way they exercised their freedoms to chose. Many can be rather dogmatic about even this topic. I learned that years ago when I'd open up (in an insecure way) about my schooling choices. Or state rather or not my husband and I would vaccinate our kids. And it wasn't me going around spewing my decisions on others. Naively, if someone would ask, I'd answer - thinking we are both sharing "our choices" minus any judgement. Oh my goodness. Some people avoided or even stopped talking to me. I was so clueless.

I am no longer concerned if others will like/love me if they learn that I may not vote the way they vote. Truthfully, politically speaking... I am for peace, love and happiness for all. Live your life and respect my freedom(s) to live mine - harming none in the process. That's about the most I'll share. Why should anyone care what my politically philosophy is? If I'm not getting paid for the risk involved to share it, I chose to keep my mouth close and just listen.

There is a certain degree of freedom in freeing your body, mind and soul (self) in not caring. Not losing sleep or losing your health worrying about weather or not others will like/love you. I've observed in my lifetime lots of horrible people who manage to retain the like/love from others, despite how they treat people. Bizarre, but I'm done trying to decipher that code.

For those struggle with the same or similar emotional challenges, free yourself. Because when the time comes (lose a child or nearly lose your life or other), you'll look around. All those people, many with flawed lives or personalities of their own will be MIA (missing in action) during your hour of need. So love yourself. Love those worthy of your energy. Embrace the moment you are in with mindfulness. It's okay to be who you are. Work on those parts of yourself that need fixin. Those parts of yourself that need healin. And keep believin as you chose. Eventually you'll find the path best for you.