Starting off the weekend magnificently. I received my monthly dialysis labs today (not sure exact term used). Everything they test me on - which are substances like: phosphorous & potassium (limitations explained in the Renal Diet) measures much like a progress report or report card. Having been an academic person in my formative years, still, I can appreciate this days readings from more of a "sense of accomplishment", relieved perspective.

Now that my taste buds are returning, it's getting more challenging to meet the standards required of this life or death possibility. Lately my readings have been very poor, almost to embarrassment and I'd rather avoid the "binders" (research for kidney patients) - pills nephrologist prescribe which I guess grabs a portion of the harmful parts from higher phosphorous & potassium foods from each meal - meaning, to my understanding there is an extra pill (which is large/may have side effects), taken before every meal that you'll have to add to your already lengthy assortments of medications taken to preserve your already compromised life.

To my disappointment, I have been undisciplined and perhaps unintelligent in my food choices and portions. It felt so freeing and less health challenging to binge (too heavily, I guess) on certain restricted food items. Since the onset of my health awakening, my dear husband had been closely monitoring my health, especially what I consumed ~ for my safety, of course.

And now that I am slowly returning back to a somewhat "normal" state of being, more independence and all, I've been expected, understandably so,  to be responsible for my own well being - when it comes to food, medication and exercise that is. It's like I was spoiled to some degree and lately, childishly rebellious toward the rules of mindfully controlling the quality of my sustenance.

I quickly learned my lesson when my adored & appreciated doctor and nurse practitioner and dietitian, they all gently informed me (all on separate occasions) that my labs are increasingly elevating towards my detriment and it was imperative that I get a handle on my eating [and drinking].

My liquid intake has been too high as well. Perhaps this explains the extra bloating and puffiness that I feel and see. I've always loved huge glasses of iced water and I believe, times when I feel "well" I behave as if my health was fine and find myself going overboard with the liquids and the cheeses and such, which is the opposite in terms of Will Power that I'm modeling to my precociously observant preteen daughter, who's still at home, of course - watching my every move as if "I" need supervision.

I suspect I'm back on the right track now. Scary things can happen ( luckily nothing too severe for me so far, but there is a litany of undesirables, even death that awaits the recalcitrant patient) if  someone in my condition neglects to follow the requirements necessary in order to stay alive and well.