With great reluctance, my son finally read a few of my blog post. I've been practically begging him (an incredible writer and avid reader himself) to read and critique my writings.

Having had a brain injury - stroke, my thoughts jaggedly flow through my words in text. They are oftentimes fragmented and all over the place. Something I'm aware of but can't change now. Hopefully my brain heals completely. But until then, THIS is a genuine representation of who I am today. Unfortunately I procrastinated with a host of things in the days of better health. A plethora of ailments is what I'm boldly journeying though presently ~ determined to cease every moment.

He is aware of the differences in his mom, of course noticing the drastic changes (decline) in my writing style; and he delicately shared with me his reasons for avoiding reading my blog.

An admirer of his mom, I had no idea. Even wished he could write like me, wow! He's so open...

My blog represents and reminds him what happened to his mother back in 2014. I'm sure my coming so close to death and the physical and mental transformations because of the health crisis causes too much pain that he's not ready to deal with. He is a physics and computer science major at a highly academically demanding college. He needs to be fully focused and unemotional to tackle the daily regimen required to be a successful college student.

He remembers how I use to write, speak, think. And all that is different plus more now, hopefully temporally. Being a lover of words, I was very precise with a richer vocabulary.

The difference with me now and then, I'm more fearless. Unafraid and less concerned about the opinions or judgments of others. Those who knew me before and see me now might have some ambivalence in experiencing the "new" me, Sage. Seems like it takes more courage for those to witness the outcome of tragedy than to live it. This is my life now. And If I am expected to live it with the utmost grace and tenacity, I would hope that those watching can loyally experience its benefits along side me for the long haul.

My son (and my husband  & daughter) is proud of me. They support me to the fullest and desperately want me to be authentically healthy and happy. Optimistically, I strive towards health and happiness daily. If not for myself, for them. Their unconditional love is my motivation. My inspiration.

It is my hope that my readers out there recognize (or can relate to) my journey. Each post takes a great bravery to post [and hit the button, "share"] as I'm my biggest critic. It agonizes me that I have yet to find my original "voice" in speech or in writing. Despite my struggle, I'm on the path to gold in which getting through each day without giving in or giving up is my ultimate treasure.

So far, my readers are silent. May they all one day soon acknowledge by sending a "shout out" to express, "we hear you"...

And if anything, in the long run, hopefully, I'm not boring. Fragmented maybe, but not boring.