You never know what another person is going through. This explains why it’s best to reserve judgement. To have compassion  when someone’s disposition may not  represent  the way you think it should.

During a routine swim day, a fellow regular swimmer asked if she could share the lane with me. “Of course”, I replied. I was surprised she spoke. Usually she's very quiet and reserved. Though there's a language barrier, whenever we see each other, we acknowledge the other with a nod or a  friendly “good morning”.

I proceeded to swim. And so did she. Eventually she stopped.  Inquired why I didn’t swim in the other faster lanes (as if she was suggesting I move from where I was before she arrived). I told her - I was fine where I was, but thank you. She went on to explain that she noticed that I was a fast swimmer. Said she’s very slow.

I assured her that she’s fine. She’s not inconveniencing my swim at all. I'm very slow too. The flippers I wear may make it appear as if I were a faster swimmer.

She went on to share, she has lung cancer. She only comes to this particular facility on this day to swim. She rarely feels well but feels better in the water. 

I told her, “me too! I feel better in the water. I need a kidney (this is why I prefer to swim in the slow lanes)".

The startled look suggested  she had difficulty comprehending what I had just said. I went on to show her my fistula arm. “See, this is the source in which I get my dialysis. My kidneys no longer function as they should”.

Obviously stunned  to discover what I'm enduring as I was stunned with what she’s enduring we just kinda stood there looking at each other awkwardly. I know, usually it takes awhile for this kinda news to sink in when you hear it. 

Now, this is an attractive woman- Looked younger than she was for her age. Fit and focused. Never would I imagine she had some sort of debilitating ailment. And I suppose, she had similar or same perception of me. 

That day, we both learned we are not much different after all. We both preferred the convenience of the "slow lane". We both had health challenges, yet we both were determined to be and feel well, even if it was for the minutes we spend in the water.

There was  a perplexed feeling as  to why this illness was bestowed on her. After all, she lives a healthy lifestyle.  I totally understood, yet in my mind, I've resolved - awful things can also happen to people who may do all the supposedly right things.  Somehow, we all must accept our fate and do the best we can to continue on living a quality lifestyle nonetheless. 

She  sees such young women in the medical office  receiving  cancer treatments.  Immediately I thought about how I feel on occasion – surrounded by so many sickly looking people – quietly wondering to myself if I look as ill as they do.  Quietly hoping my condition does not worsen.  I can easily get locked in fears, worries and concerns.   

Regardless, it has been my mission to remain active and optimistic.  Proceeding to do positive and productive things protects me from a dangerously idle mind. Be an example to my kids (and/or whomever else is observing my existence) on how to overcome obstacles, how to persevere. Win, in my own way against the odds.  And here this stranger (who has now become a friend) – being an example to me.