admitted into the hospital. rushed via ambulance straight from dialysis.

intense chest pains, difficulty breathing, plus usual discomforts i've been experiencing lately at the end of my treatments. oxygen immediately given. chest pain wasn't relieved from nitro administered. then again when paramedics arrived. scary ordeal. surrounded by concerned professionals -- tech, nurses, paramedics; my husband. all i could think of at the time, aside from the discomfort from all the instant attention was,

"oh, no! am i dying? how much is all this going to cost? is this pain all in my head? darn, i'm wearing a head scarf. good thing i painted my toenails night prior. will i be able to swim tomorrow?".

i'm still here. thankful to be alone in a single room. receiving quality care. and most importantly, feeling much better now. still alive and well. with more opportunities to live, laugh and love.

surrounded by my knitting, library books, coloring books/crayons. my laptop and my phone. i have function of my mind and my body, which i'm immensely grateful. my husband is home with our 13 year old. they both are well. my son is well while in college. these truths give me peace of mind.

really fortunate i do have insurance still and haven't had to suffer the reality of not having the privilege (the human right) to it. the depressing accumulating healthcare bills, well. that's another story. one which others can possibly relate to now or perhaps in their future.

to my benefit, several test were ran in ER -- chest X-ray, CT scan w/contrast. once i was finally admitted (keep in mind i get dialysis at 4 am. i woke mid-treatment at 7 am feeling unwell. paramedics called by 8 am. arrived in ER by 9 am)

by the time i was comfortably in ER receiving more pain relief, i was exhausted. was famished.

while admitted, i've had a few more test done. had a nuclear stress test, had an EKG. currently waiting to get dialysis again (even though i had treatment yesterday - contrast from CT scan test has to be removed from my system).

last time something like this happened years ago,  i was rushed to ER via ambulance from dialysis, it was discovered i have a heart aneurysm. since then, i have been monitored closely by a cardiac physician.

luckily, i have the best doctors, the best care, the best support ever. quality, this fact makes what i'm enduring more endurable.